Supporting Attachment
Strengthening attachment between children and caregivers reminds children that adults can be a “secure base.” Responsive adults create confident children who can engage in healthy relationships. A secure attachment fosters curiosity, identity, and growth.
“Creative arts are a way to experience a secure relationship
with an [adult] that resonates at a sensory level in both body and mind and in a place within each of us where attachment is most authentically recognized, integrated, and appreciated.”
Malchiodi + Crenshaw
The arts gift families and relationships opportunities for mutual expression through rhythm, vibration, and tactile engagement. Play is a powerful communication for children so, engaging in play deepens conversation.
Below are the four crucial moments in attachment and how to use the arts (and play) to engage together. As children get older, these moments may look different, but aren’t any less important. Check out the modifications for teens.
#1: WAKING UP
One way to wake up your little one is by tracing images on their back with a dry paint brush or using a toy car to move along their back to wake them up.
For older kids, write them an encouraging morning note and slip it under their door or send a text each morning before their alarm goes off.
#2: SAYING GOODBYE
Separating for the day, to camp or work or school, requires connection. One way to say goodbye to your little one is by singing a song to their different body parts, like “see you later, toes,” “see you later, legs,” “see you later, belly!”
For older kids, listen together to a song or playlist on the way to school to set the tone for the day.
#3: SAYING HELLO
Returning from school and work offers an important moment to reconnect and set the tone for the upcoming evening. After a hug or a secret handshake, create heart maps together. Grab a blank sheet of paper and coloring tools. Draw a large heart on the paper and inside, create with words, symbols, or marks about how your day was— what’s inside your heart right now.
For older kids, have some magnetic poetry tiles on the fridge. Ask them what’s going on in their brain, by assembling the words, when they grab a snack.
#4: SAYING GOODNIGHT
For most kids, bedtime requires a predictable routine so, integrating attachment practices can be natural. Reading books together is one option, but if you want to expand imaginative connection, use story cubes to co-create a bedtime story together.
For older kids, spend time playing basketball or video games together, or paint nails or apply face masks. Doing an activity together, moving through similar motions, is mirroring. Mirroring builds connecting.