Be the Calm - 5 calming breathing exercises

Written by Laura Shaw, Paint Love Executive Director and a certified 200-hour and children’s yoga instructor

Preschoolers at Our House doing jellyfish breathing exercises with Paint Love Program Director Mandy Goodwin.

Preschoolers at Our House doing jellyfish breathing exercises with Paint Love Program Director Mandy Goodwin.

Taking simple steps to speak and act from a place of relative calm, rather than from a place of fear or stress, can help buffer stress kids might be feeling, and help co-regulate their emotions.

Co-regulation is a great technique for kids (and adults!) who are having a hard time settling anxious thoughts on their own. “Emotions are contagious,” so just like anxiety can make other feel anxious by proximity, being calm can help others become or stay calm.

All Paint Love programs start with trying to help youth be present where they are in the moment, and ready to engage their creative brain. Research suggests deep breathing (from your diaphragm, not just shallow breathing in your chest) is one of the easiest (and free!) ways to calm your brain and body. These are my personal favorite breathing exercises that can help adults and kids help each other calm down when they are feeling taken over by big emotions.

Calming breathing exercises

1. Extended exhale Breath counting

Count (out loud for a child or on your fingers) inhale 1, 2, 3, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.
Increase as they’re able (breathe in for 4, out for 5, etc.)

  • ”Rectangle breath” is another version of this, either tracing it in the air, or with an actual piece of paper for a visual guide, slowly breathe in moving your finger slowly up the short side of the rectangle, and slowly breathing out as you trace the long side.

  • Taking it a step further: Try 2-1-4-1 pattern: breath in for 2, hold it at the top of your breath with your lungs full for the count of 1, breath out for 4, hold it at the end of your exhale with your lungs empty for 1 count.

  • Why it helps: Breathing out longer than you breathe in engages your parasympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of calming and rest.

2. Finger Tracing breathing

Have kids slowly trace the line of their fingers with their opposite hand, inhaling while tracing up the outside of the index finger and exhaling while tracing the fall on the other side - going back and forth along the fingers

3. Smell the Flower/ Blow out the candle

*Good for explaining the concept of deep breathing to younger children- you can even make your own candle and flower out of cardboard paper tubes as a craft!

Hold an invisible flower in one hand and an invisible birthday candle in the other- Smell the flower, taking a deep inhale through your nose and feel the air fill your lungs and your belly expand, hold your breath in for three, two, one, and then exhaling through your mouth, blow out the candle in your other hand. 

4. Bee breath

*Good for a silly way to engage kids who can’t or don’t want to sit still to breathe, have them buzz around like a bee, stop on an imaginary flower (or put a pillow on the floor for them to land on) to take in a big breath, and buzz it out as they fly around again.

Take a deep breath in, filling your lungs all the way up with air, and exhale with a humming noise through your teeth, buzzing like a bee. 

5. Lion’s breath

*Good when kids are feeling amped or angry energy, encourage them to stomp and roar and then move onto a counting breath once they are more settled.

Take a deep breath in through your nose, open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, and breath out making a throaty, soft roaring noise with your exhale. 

Tips and Tricks

  • Don’t worry too much about positioning, timing, sitting up straight, etc. In the middle of a melt-down or when you can tell kids are getting overwhelmed, just getting them breathing deeply will help calm their bodies down.

  • Practicing breathing techniques when kids are calm and focused will help them master the techniques and feel confident and comfortable in their ability to use these tools when they really need them, or to be ready to have an adult help them co-regulate.

  • Transitioning to self-regulation: Help kids learn and recognize their physical signs of stress - Are their hands sweaty? Do they feel like someone punched them in the stomach? Is their mouth clenched? Can they feel their heart beating in their chest? Identifying signs and having an established plan of action they know to follow can help them learn to pause, and respond with their favorite breathing exercise before their worry makes them blast off!

Relevant Resources

Art Projects

Try creating this Settle Jar to help your child’s anxiety.


Need a more guided approach?


We’ll talk more about guided activities and movement in a later post, but here are a few of my favorite resources if you just can’t wait!

Scripts for children’s guided meditation stories

Chopra Center - Guided meditation scripts for kids