Resources for celebrating diversity + talking to kids about race

Paint Love’s vision is a world where no child is limited by adverse experiences, and we must all work together to bring about this reality. Below is a resource roundup of some of our favorite books and age-appropriate tips for addressing issues of prejudice. Paint Love projects always aim to meet and engage kids at the level they’re at, but also push boundaries challenging them to be self-reflective to think about how they can be kinder to themselves and those around them, and action-oriented to imagine and create the world they want to live in. Creating this vision of community will take countless small kindnesses as well as radical acts of selflessness and love, and it will be through imagination and creativity that we get there.

Talking to kids about prejudice

From Teaching Tolerance’s book, “Beyond the Golden Rule: A Guide to Preventing and Responding to Prejudice” by Dana Williams

More resources for talking to kids about race, racism, and racialized violence from experts at the Center for Racial Justice in Education.

Preschool age

Be honest. Don’t encourage children not to “see” color or tell children we are all the same. Rather, discuss differences openly and highlight diversity by choosing picture books, toys, games, and videos that feature diverse characters in positive, non-stereotypical roles.

Embrace curiosity. Be careful not to ignore or discourage your youngster’s questions about differences among people, even if the questions make you uncomfortable. Not being open to such questions sends the message that difference is negative.

→ Check out these sensory projects to teach encourage curious thinking.

Broaden choices. Be careful not to promote stereotypical gender roles, suggesting that there are certain games, sports or activities that only girls can do or only boys can do.

Foster pride. Talk to your child about your family heritage to encourage self-knowledge and a positive self-concept. Lead by example. Widen your circle of friends and acquaintances to include people from different backgrounds, cultures and experiences.

→ Project idea: Create a community quilt, asking members of your community (neighbors, classmates, church members) to create a 5x5 inch square with a self portrait on it. Use fabric scraps and combine them into a real quilt (I bet there is someone in your community who knows how to quilt!) or use recycled material and paper scraps and then tape or glue them together on a larger piece of paper to display in a common area, like a library, where everyone can enjoy it. Or: do this project at home, and create a square for different people in your community! See how many people you can come up with that help make your community run. (Think about specific people you know or see regularly, teachers, the children’s librarian at your local library, your favorite server at your coffee shop, janitorial staff who help keep your spaces clean, mail carriers and delivery workers…)

→ Make sure you have diverse art supplies and stay away from language like calling something “skin tone” or “nude.”

Community quilt created by children at Camp PEACE at the Women’s Resource Center to End Domestic Violence. Project led and built by artist Janice McClean.

Elementary - Pre-teen years

Model it. Talking to your child about the importance of embracing difference and treating others with respect is essential, but it’s not enough. Your actions, both subtle and overt, are what they will emulate.

Acknowledge difference. Rather than teaching children that we are all the same, acknowledge the many ways people are different, and emphasize some of the positive aspects of our differences — language diversity and various music and cooking styles, for example. Likewise, be honest about instances, historical and current, when people have been mistreated because of their differences. Encourage your child to talk about what makes him different, and discuss ways that may have helped or hurt him at times. After that, finding similarities becomes even more powerful, creating a sense of common ground.

Challenge intolerance. If your child says or does something indicating bias or prejudice, don’t meet the action with silence. Silence indicates acceptance, and a simple command — “Don’t say that” — is not enough. First try to find the root of the action or comment: “What made you say that about Sam?” Then, explain why the action or comment was unacceptable.

Seize teachable moments. Look for everyday activities that can serve as springboards for discussion. School-age children respond better to lessons that involve real-life examples than to artificial or staged discussions about issues. For example, if you’re watching TV together, talk about why certain groups often are portrayed in stereotypical roles.

Emphasize the positive. Just as you should challenge your child’s actions if they indicate bias or prejudice, it’s important to praise him for behavior that shows respect and empathy for others. Catch your child treating people kindly, let her know you noticed, and discuss why it’s a desirable behavior.

→ Project idea: Create a Mood Meter and play the Mood Meter board game specifically sharing stories of times you felt each emotion related to interactions with others - expand the game to include times you might have made someone else feel a certain emotion. Bringing in real-life examples from your and the child’s life will not only teach emotional intelligence but help build empathy.

teen years

Keep talking. Many believe the last thing teens are interested in is having a conversation with parents. But even if your teen doesn’t initiate conversations about issues of difference, find ways to bring those topics up with them. Use current issues from the news, such as the immigration debate or same-sex marriage, as a springboard for discussion. Ask your teen what she thinks about the issues.

→ Doodling during a conversation can really help kids open up. Check out this doodle project or print out these coloring sheets.

Stay involved. Messages about differences exist all around your teen: the Internet, songs, music videos, reality shows, ads and commercials, social cliques at school. Know the websites your teen enjoys visiting; take time to listen to or watch the music and shows they enjoy. Then discuss the messages they send. Ask your teen about the group or groups she most identifies with at school. Discuss the labels or stereotypes that are associated with such groups.

Live congruently. Discussing the importance of valuing difference is essential, but modeling this message is even more vital. Evaluate your own circle of friends or the beliefs you hold about certain groups of people. Do your actions match the values you discuss with your teen? Teens are more likely to be influenced by what you do than what you say, so it’s important for your words and behaviors to be congruent.

→ Paint Love’s hints for keeping your calm so you can operate from a place of intentionality

Broaden opportunities. It may be natural for teens to stick to groups they feel most comfortable with during the school day. These often are the people they identify as being most like themselves. Provide other opportunities for your teen to interact with peers from different backgrounds. Suggest volunteer, extracurricular, worship and work opportunities that will broaden your teen’s social circle.

→ If you live in Atlanta, at Paint Love, we offer teen-friendly volunteer opportunities.

Encourage activism. Promote ways for your teen to get involved in causes he cares about. No place for him to hang out with friends? Encourage him to get together with peers to lobby city officials for a teen social center or skate park. Upset about discriminatory treatment of teenagers by a storekeeper or business? Give your teen suggestions for writing a letter of complaint or planning a boycott. When young people know they have a voice in their community, they are empowered to help resolve issues of injustice.

→ Project idea: Check out these teen-appropriate action-oriented art projects for encouraging social justice.

Books celebrating diversity + addressing race

These books are just a few of our staff’s favorite picks for talking about identity and/or celebrating diversity. Some of these books directly address issues of race and racism (designated on our list with ** ) and some feature diverse characters, exposing kids to diversity and inclusive of characters of a variety of races cultural backgrounds.

Even more important than the books you read together, are the conversations you have with children. Below the book list, you’ll find some tips from experts on talking to kids of different ages about race and racism and some tips from the Paint Love team about projects you can do together to process thoughts and experiences surrounding identity, inclusion, and standing up for yourself and others.